Pride is a reminder for us all to be a bit more humane

It’s Pride month. Westminster City Hall, across Victoria Street from us, is proudly flying a large rainbow flag and our office is festooned with smaller flags stuck to monitors. As with all days, weeks and months devoted to raising awareness of political issues, it’s a moment to reflect on the lie of the land.

大约30年前，当我开始在房地产行业工作时，我不认为自己会轻易地公开谈论自己是同性恋。我从来没有想过要隐藏它——自从我上了大学，我就出柜了——但在日常的工作场所，出门和感觉像在家里一样舒适是有天壤之别的。我现在更老了，更自信了，在我公司的位置上，如果你不喜欢它，它不会真正影响到我，但我确实想知道，对于刚进入这个行业的年轻人来说，这是什么感觉，在我看来，这仍然是一个……幼稚的行业。

I’ve never (knowingly) been the subject of discrimination and have never felt particularly at a disadvantage but, as I say, that might be more to do with me and my self-confidence than the world around my industry. I also know that I work with a bunch of particularly decent, intelligent, kind and friendly people who I know bear no ill will to anyone.

But that’s not the point. In so many work situations it’s much less about intention and more about naïve thoughtlessness and the impact it has on those on the receiving end.

When you come to a realisation that you might be different from others, it’s not direct discrimination or even a threat of violence that is the biggest challenge, it’s a sense that the world is not designed for you

I don’t have to point out that this is not just an issue for LGBT+ people – women, those from minority ethnic backgrounds and those with disabilities are all equally under-represented and promoted in our property industry and suffer every day from unconscious bias and exclusion from situations and conversations that are not “for them”. But I can’t speak from personal experience there, so I’m going to stick to the subject I know most about.

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When you come to a realisation (early in life for most people) that you might be different from others, it’s not direct discrimination or even a threat of violence that is the biggest challenge, it’s a sense that the world is not designed for you. Growing up gay is to feel that all of life, from television to shop windows, books, films and lessons in school is about growing up into a state of happiness that is not available to you.

Even now, in 2019, a gay couple walking down the street hand-in-hand will draw comments, stares and negative reaction. It’s why the first time in a gay nightclub is such a transformational experience for young gay people – to walk through the door is to know immediately that you are in a place, unlike the rest of the world, where flirting will not risk violence and you can truly be yourself. The downside, of course, is the back-to-reality of Monday morning.

I’m so aware in writing this that 600 words is nowhere near enough to discuss such an emotive and important issue for me. But rules is rules, so I’ll just wrap this up with a plea for some thoughtfulness. As I’m sure the women and those from minority ethnic backgrounds will agree, I’m not suggesting that the majority of people in our workplaces are prejudiced or biased but… I’d just ask that you think twice before you speak. If you talk about Pride this month, it doesn’t have to be supplemented with an “innocuous” joke about tutus or Kylie Minogue. When you ask a gay colleague what he did over the weekend, don’t immediately assume it involved a lot of promiscuous sex and be aware that harmless language that makes someone else feel excluded or reinforces a notion that a situation or conversation is not for them is just another reminder that they don’t belong.